Recent thoughts on my life

I think I understand why some things are working out the way they are. I often used to ponder the thought of why I was still single and not with the person my heart longed to be with.

For a while I couldn't write how I felt because all of the thoughts in my mind were all scrambled and confusing. So I waited. I waited until the storm had passed and the confusion was gone. I've learned to just live day by day, and my days seem to just follow in pursuit of the other, with the same route, same conversations, same emotions. But I want some excitement, something that will challenge me outside of my school work.

I once met a person, that I loved immediately, but I could tell something was keeping us away from each other and it wasn't something that either of us were doing, it seemed to be of a higher power. I never understood what it meant to pray for someone who didn't treat you the way you thought you should, until I met them. I prayed that God would heal them: emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Have you ever met someone who you knew weren't reaching their full potential because they had released a hurt? It was that type of situation. My heart ached for them when they were in pain and I cried for them when they were sad, and I rejoiced with them when they were happy.

When you meet someone that you instantly have a connection with, how do you keep that fire burning?

I tried so hard to, on my own, but as you know, it takes two.

I heard something not too long ago that stuck with me, and it was that if you don't already have something then it may not be for you to have or that God hasn't prepared you for it yet. And I'm thinking, it was only a friendship that was meant to help me in my time of seclusion.

I'm also learning that sometimes it's best to just let some things go and walk away from the situation, and God will bless you with something much greater than before. God knows what He has in store for us, and so we must trust Him and know He wants the best for us.

Thoughts Running in My Mind at the moment.

I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I'm disappointed.

I give you a chance, to show me you are worth my time, and you let me down.
You weren't there when I needed you and I don't feel like I can trust you.

You are a complete stranger to me and I think you always will be.

I'm not really in one of those laughing or smiling moods. I don't feel like there's anything to smile about.

I feel like you lie to me every time we talk and I think that's the reason I don't allow myself to feel anything for you.


You know when you meet someone and realize after you have invested time into them, that they weren't worth the time you spent?
Yeah well that's pretty much how I feel at the present moment.

My life has completely changed since I met you,and I can't say for the better unfortunately.

To be in a relationship or even a friendship for that matter, there has to be open and honest communication. They moment you start lying, is the moment there is a breach in our friendship/relationship.

You can't lie to me and just expect for when I expose your lie and you say I'm sorry that the effects of you lying goes away. Trust has been broken and it will be a challenge for you to earn it back.

My suggestion is to tell the truth at all costs, even if you think it will hurt the person's feelings, because if they find out that you have been lying to them the whole time, that will hurt them even more.

There's a problem when you're in a relationship with someone and they're not the person you initially go to when you have an issue.

-I feel someone else is better at being sensitive to my wants/needs
-You have a lack of sincere concern
-You have selective hearing
-You only care about something if it will directly affect your status.