What Was in My Past

I often found myself screaming your name, but you didn’t seem to hear me. Your ears had fallen deaf to my sirens and your heart immune to my love.


I loved you too much and now I am hurt in my heart. As time passed my love for you grew. It grew but you went away. You departed from me, leaving me without a map to find my way. I had lost you and now my desire for you is no longer there. I learned not to get too attached anymore and maybe that will cause me less grief. I wish I would have never experienced love so that I wouldn’t have had to experience that pain and hurt.


I had gotten tired of everyone that I was interested in falling into one of the three categories: gay, too old for me, or married. And then if there was someone I might be remotely interested in, he was not saved or if he was, he was too busy for me. So I no longer wanted to date. I didn’t want to take the time to get to know anyone and put my heart at risk of getting hurt, because from experience I had learned it was not worth it.