My Daddy

A healing is taking place in my heart.
God is filling a void that I had been forced to live with for 21 years. The pain I've had to live with has been unbearable at times, but yet somehow I made.

Daddy's arms has been the place I've been trying to find for such a long time. It's that place that nothing even matters anymore. The looks that people like to give don't even matter anymore. The things that people like to say doesn't even matter anymore, because I'm in my Daddy's Arms.

It's the way he just sometimes stares at me, seeing himself in me.
Seeing a part of him that has sprouted out into such a beautiful creation.
The look of awe that this is his seed, his blood.

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With my Daddy not being there for me as a child growing up, there were other men that tried to stand up to plate and stand in proxy for him. But it's something when it's a Father and his Daughter. No one can spoil her just like he can. There is something about the love of a father to his daughter that no on can give.

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This healing process had to take place because I was scared to be with a man and completely give my heart, mind, and body to him because I was afraid. I was afraid that once I did all of that, that he would leave me there all alone and hurt, without any explaination. So as I experienced things at a young age, it had began to get easier to just close myself off and put up a wall. It wasn't only against men, but women as well. The thought of someone getting close put fear in me, and still today I learning to just step out of my comfort zone and take a chance. It's not easy for me by no means and people always think I am just conservative, but alot of the time, it's just my fear. I hide behind it contrary to what I know that God has not given me the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound mind. God is still working on me and for that I will be so ever thankful.