I’m trying to run away from this thought of you that you have placed in my mind.
I’m trying so hard to fight it and deny myself of its pleasures.
I don’t know why I allowed myself to get pulled into that situation, but I was so weak.
I let my curiosity get the best of me, of what I knew was wrong.
But I had overridden what I knew to be right and the entire time I was fighting myself trying not to enjoy what I knew in my heart, mind, body, and soul to be pure evil.
But I kept going.
I kept going until I was purely busted and disgusted with my actions and yours.
It was after about a couple of hours that I had regained control over my mind and body and realized the mistake I just made.
At least I can say, I learned a little from my previous experience, but obviously not enough, because I allowed myself to be used.
I wish there was someone I could turn to, that truly understood what I was going through.
I needed someone that would not judge, but rather someone who had maybe once experienced this before themselves and made it out of the lion’s den.
I often think what if I had not made that commitment 6 years ago, what type of woman would I be.
I honestly believe my life would be totally different, but God spared me for a reason.
He has a plan in mind that He wants me to fulfill and I guess I must be kept on
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