Monday, July 13, 2009

Can't Run Away From My Thoughts

I’m trying to run away from this thought of you that you have placed in my mind.
I’m trying so hard to fight it and deny myself of its pleasures.
I don’t know why I allowed myself to get pulled into that situation, but I was so weak.

I let my curiosity get the best of me, of what I knew was wrong.
But I had overridden what I knew to be right and the entire time I was fighting myself trying not to enjoy what I knew in my heart, mind, body, and soul to be pure evil.
But I kept going.
I kept going until I was purely busted and disgusted with my actions and yours.

It was after about a couple of hours that I had regained control over my mind and body and realized the mistake I just made.
At least I can say, I learned a little from my previous experience, but obviously not enough, because I allowed myself to be used.

I wish there was someone I could turn to, that truly understood what I was going through.
I needed someone that would not judge, but rather someone who had maybe once experienced this before themselves and made it out of the lion’s den.


I often think what if I had not made that commitment 6 years ago, what type of woman would I be.
I honestly believe my life would be totally different, but God spared me for a reason.
He has a plan in mind that He wants me to fulfill and I guess I must be kept on

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