Going through the motions....

It's been a long time since I have written a new entry and so much has happened since since then. I am now a single woman, doing what I think I want to do.

I'm trying so hard to make up my mind about a certain issue. Do I or do I not? What is it that I really want? What am I afraid of? Full time, part time, or nothing at all??? Never speak, acquaintance, friendship, or more?? Keep playing the games or get real with myself and everyone else? Although I've been upfront from... day one, these internal feelings are coming to the surface........ Questions only I must answer.

My past feelings are returning to me; those feelings that should not be there. Those emotions that I thought I had completely repressed are resurfacing, but I'm not ready to deal with them right now. What is it that I am to do? When all you do is just go through the motions...

Only perfect on the surface

The days have past and now I am single again. I made the choice to do what I wanted to do. I wasn't going to regret the choice that I made, as long as no one got seriously hurt. But unfortunately, I can't say that no one did. I ended up hurting myself in the end. The choice I made was out of hurt and now I can't go back and turn back the hands of time. I gave something to somone who had no clue of its value and now it's lost forver. You can't give your most valued treasure to a stranger because they won't know how to appreciate it.

I opened my heart to let a stranger in, who was full of lies wrapped in a plate of truth. Everything that came out of his mouth, could be compared to chicken not fully cooked, it looks so good and done until you bite in it and blood starts dripping out from the side of your mouth. He appeared to be perfect on the surface, but on the inside, he was full of deceit.