I'm Done

He has taken everyone away from me.
I am seriously left all alone.
There's no one to call on but Him when I want and need someone to talk to.
I sometimes want to call up people of my past but God already knows the path I often want to travel and won't allow them to even be available.

So what now?
Where do I go?
What do I do?

I'm growing up and people aren't sugarcoding things for me anymore.
I really just want to crawl in a box and lock myself in.
Away from life, trouble, my thoughts, my feelings, and even love.

I just don't know anymore, I'm not sure of anything or anyone.
Everyone is letting me down.
I feel like my whole world is tumbling all around me and crumbling under my feet.
I'm losing my balance.
But I refuse to lose this war.

My mind is all over the place and I'm having trouble expressing the way I feel to people, afraid that they will reject me.
Afraid they will leave me.
Afraid they will judge me and realize I'm not worth lending an ear to.

Because I'm young, people think I don't struggle.
They think I don't have a care in the world, but that's not true.
My heart has been broken too many times, and well frankly I'm not too willing to give it another try.

I've been down that road so many times and each time it failed and the pain hurt me more than the last.
Well I'm done. I'm done being hurt and I'm done being used.
I'm done with it all.