Life As I Have Come to Know It

I do not understand why I do not listen to you.
You have been right countless times.
Only having my best interests at heart.
In my gut I knew I should have listened but I just had to experience it for myself.

Things are hard now.
Not the way the should be, like as if I was talking to you.
Easy conversation, no fuss and fight about having your undivided attention, just you.

Have I made a mistake.......
I do not know.
I wanted your approval, which you did not give.
It hurt me but I thought I could live without it, but now I am just so confused.

I thought this was what I wanted, but now that I have it, everything is just not falling into place.
Things just are not natural, but rather forced.

I was once on cloud 9, but I too soon came crashing back down to earth because reality was beginning to hit me.
What do I do now?
Please help me, this time I will try to listen.