A NEW DIRECTION

I needed to know if he really loved me
If it was real and true
Or was it all lies and just something to do
I loved the fact that I thought I could make him smile when he wasn’t feeling good and the feeling I felt that I was being loyal and faithful to him.
But could I honestly say that about him?
I don’t know.
I don’t like the feeling of being insecure with what I’m feeling about a person.
That feeling of being unsure and confused
When someone is closed all up not allowing you to get into their mind, because their afraid of being hurt again

So I tried to make myself available.
I tried to show him with my actions, rather than just my words, that I was there, through it all I was there.
But when it was all said and done, I never stopped being there, he just closed the door on me.

He never really let me in anyways but me being the person I am, I found another route.
Just not the route I wanted to take.
On the journey, I found some things that I wasn’t looking for and it kind of sent me on a whole new path.
I had to learn that it wasn’t a rejection, it was just a new direction.
A new direction to bigger and better things, things that were good for my heart, mind, and spirit.
I had to learn that we aren’t really living for today, we are living for tomorrow and our future.
So the little things that were irritating me were just not worth it and I have to live for me and I must be happy with me and my daily decisions.