Sunday, October 9, 2011

The Last Conversation to My Past

If only I could have one last conversation with you, I'd tell you how much I once cared for you. I'd tell you that you made a heavy impact in my life, both in a positive and negative way.

I'd tell you how much you were on my mind for years on end, but now there's just the memory.
I'd tell you how selfish I thought you were and how in denial I was once was.
I'd tell you that although I can't remember the day the happened, I'm glad whatever was between us came to a screeching holt. I don't know if it happened 6 months or 2 years ago, nonetheless I'm grateful.

I thought not having you in my life would make things hard and lonely, but actually the opposite has happened. I'm at peace with myself. I no longer have someone judging my every move, when they themselves don't have a clean and clear past.

I had to learn to depend on myself and God to see me through. When I first met you, the cover was pulled over my eyes and I only saw what I wanted to see. But now the true is revealed and I go forth in life being prosperous and free.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

An Open Mind being put to Good Use

As I looked back over my entries from the time I started this blog, which was a few years ago, I realize how much I've grown, even just from last year. I can actually see the progress of the mental state and maturity. For a while, my blogs used to capture my bitterness and anger, especially toward species of the opposite sex, but now I'm beyond that. There's so much more to life than that. Coming into communication with people is necessary,but you need to be at a place where you can appropriately socialize. Some people can over analyze, whereas, some people seem to be like the tin man and have no brain at all.

Being here is forcing me is to line up my priorities in a way that pleases me and not necessarily other parties involved.

I think we all have to get to this place in our lives for us to see ourselves for ourselves, instead of always looking through someone else's eyes. People love to comment and critics others, before taking a moment to look in the mirror.

Many people are always striving to be the next best thing and have the best of everything, but they are not happy inside. If you gain all the riches in the world, but yet, you have no peace of mind or joy, then all the money will be useless to you.

A self examination can bring you out of darkness and once in the light, your priorities must be made right.

In Vain...

It's been almost 2 months since been here. There have been ups and downs, but I'm made it through. I've learned to put my trust in God. For He is the only one that will never leave me alone. I've tried to find a joy on my own, but the world's joy just slipped right through my hands. Because it was not made to weather the storm.

I've been in that place for far too long. I knew something more was in store. That is why this path has been laid. I had no inclination for my future when I was still searching this world for love. Yes, I knew that it would not last, but my heart still reached out and grabbed it, in vain.

I searched the minds and hearts of many, trying to locate myself in them, but that too was in vain.

When you're a child, you can only imagine a future, but when you become an adult that once distant future, becomes your reality and present.

I never imagined my life would be where it is today. I never imagined I would be one of sole contributors to a child's education.

Life is a funny at times and only God knows the path He will have to trod, but in any case, He will indeed prepare you.