I am not interested in a "conditional relationship" nor do I want your "conditional love". If what we have is based on time, distance, or location, it won't be enough to keep me. I will not continue to give all of me if only in the end, I receive just a small portion. We must walk on the same path, heading in the same direction.
What I desire in my life won't change and if you are not interested in pursuing that with me, it is completely understandable, but it is still something I must do for me.
The Ever So Changing Life of Ms. Wright (A.K.A. GOD'S BOO)
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Here I am back writing.....
I didn't realize until this very minute that I'm ready to finally close a chapter of my life that had been lingering on the edge of my grasp. Today I let it go, knowing that some things happened because of convenience and not a genuine place. But unfortunately, that's life and once you learn that, your feelings won't get hurt and you'll be at peace. I think I'm about to start back writing.... There's so much to say to a future I've never seen before.
This is a continuation from my Facebook post today.
There is so much inside of me that needs to be said; about the past, present, and future.
I used to write so much here over the course of the last 8 years and when reading each post, I know what I was dealing with and with whom. But now I can say that I once loved someone, and well now, my love deserves and desires so much more. My love deserves a whole and free heart and mind, not bound by hurt, pride, or insecurity. My love deserves an open and honest heart that won't be ashamed of the love he has for me. My love deserves a consistency never seen before that holds onto the value of loyalty.
In the last chapter of my life, I thought it held so much promise, but then those little things you never expect to see start popping up now that the veil is not over my eyes anymore. Guess you're thinking, well better you see it now than later right? Sure, but I prayed and prayed, asking why, when,what, where, and how? I wanted all the answers to the questions I had acquired, always hearing we walk by faith, not by sight. But then things started going crazy and I'm crying myself to sleep because I don't like what I see and I'm praying Lord help me, release me, free me. It took some time. I had to forgive first and learn to love even when it hurt my feelings, realizing my feelings weren't a factor anymore, it was all a part of the process. I had to get out of my feelings to find freedom, I had to get out of my feelings to find a complete heart healed from all the broken promises and lies.
It's when you feel completely empty, that's the prefect time for God to fill you with His everlasting love. A love so true and unfailing. A love that will reveal to you all that you ask, nothing held back. I'm at that empty place, but a good place. A place where I put my heart in God's hand and when he's ready, He will place it in the right hand of the man He created just for Tesia Y Wright. God is the Potter and I'm the clay, He's molding and shaping me for His glory. So He purposely set me aside, set me a part from the others, because He said you're special my child and I have something so much more for you. I don't want you tainted. I didn't realize that until this year. I always wondered why I never quite fit in. He's preparing me for a great journey of successfulness, love, and true happiness, untainted by the world.
This is a continuation from my Facebook post today.
There is so much inside of me that needs to be said; about the past, present, and future.
I used to write so much here over the course of the last 8 years and when reading each post, I know what I was dealing with and with whom. But now I can say that I once loved someone, and well now, my love deserves and desires so much more. My love deserves a whole and free heart and mind, not bound by hurt, pride, or insecurity. My love deserves an open and honest heart that won't be ashamed of the love he has for me. My love deserves a consistency never seen before that holds onto the value of loyalty.
In the last chapter of my life, I thought it held so much promise, but then those little things you never expect to see start popping up now that the veil is not over my eyes anymore. Guess you're thinking, well better you see it now than later right? Sure, but I prayed and prayed, asking why, when,what, where, and how? I wanted all the answers to the questions I had acquired, always hearing we walk by faith, not by sight. But then things started going crazy and I'm crying myself to sleep because I don't like what I see and I'm praying Lord help me, release me, free me. It took some time. I had to forgive first and learn to love even when it hurt my feelings, realizing my feelings weren't a factor anymore, it was all a part of the process. I had to get out of my feelings to find freedom, I had to get out of my feelings to find a complete heart healed from all the broken promises and lies.
It's when you feel completely empty, that's the prefect time for God to fill you with His everlasting love. A love so true and unfailing. A love that will reveal to you all that you ask, nothing held back. I'm at that empty place, but a good place. A place where I put my heart in God's hand and when he's ready, He will place it in the right hand of the man He created just for Tesia Y Wright. God is the Potter and I'm the clay, He's molding and shaping me for His glory. So He purposely set me aside, set me a part from the others, because He said you're special my child and I have something so much more for you. I don't want you tainted. I didn't realize that until this year. I always wondered why I never quite fit in. He's preparing me for a great journey of successfulness, love, and true happiness, untainted by the world.
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