Emotionally Unstable

I wish I could say I understood what was happening around me and to me, but I don't.
I feel myself reaching out, but scared of who or what I will touch.
I am afraid to open my mouth, because I don't want to say something that I would regret.
I am afraid to open my eyes, because I don't want anyone to see into my soul.
I am afraid to open my heart, because then it could get broken again and I don't want to take that chance.

I am emotionally unstable right now, not knowing which direction to go.
I keep myself at a distance from people because I am afraid to show them the real me, afraid they won't like what they see.

To be emotionally unstable for me means having to take each day as it comes, whether good or bad.
Lately I haven't been having the greatest days, not wanting to leave my room, and definitely not the house.
I find myself not wanting to talk to anyone or be touched anymore, feeling a need to turn people away that may actually sincerely care about me.


I could cry because I keep allowing myself to be put into situations where I am being used as a rebound.
They come out of a relationship, they have a bad argument, or just bored and looking for something to do, and I, for whatever reason, seem to make myself available.
I end up feeling stupid, used, and yet again alone.
I try to make friends, but people don't know what a friendship is these days.
They all seem to want friends with benefits, well I am not that type of girl and if I am rude about it, well too bad because I don't even care anymore.

I wish I could become a stable individiual but right now that's just not the case.
My need to feel in control of everything often is my wall to block someone else from controlling me and the situation.
I feel if I do give someone the power they would use it to completely destroy me and everything I have worked so hard to achieve.
My trust issues have not yet completely vanished and they hold me in a stand still position and I am utterly afraid to move from that place.
I know what I have come across over the past few years and it has not been a very pleasant experience.

I did not always be this way, but it was I began venturing out into the real world, meeting real people outside of my comfort zone that reality set in.
Reality is that I had been in this box for so long, I never knew what to expect from things outside of the norm I had created for myself.
I still sometimes feel as if I have one foot outside the box and one still in, but the one that's still in, is fighting to win and for me to get back in the box forever to stay.

But how do I overcome this fear?
This fear of rejection, denial, loneliness, heartbreak?

Someone help me......